Some More Jokes

Last night was my fault, my wife asked, "what's on the TV?" and ..... I said, "dust!"

The smile is like a simcard & life is like cellphone, Whenever u insert the simcard of a smile, a beautiful day is activated Keep Smiling.

Difference: It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE Vs ARRANGED. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered

so sweet is ur SMILE..... so sweet is ur STYLE..... so sweet is ur VOICE..... so sweet is ur EYE....... see how sweetly I LIE!!

Some Love Golden-Ship, Some Love Silver-Ship, But I Love One Ship, That Is Your Friend-Ship

What is the difference between Mother & Wife? One woman brings you into this world crying... & the other ensures you Continue to do so!!

U r a Stupid Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand...

Sugar is sugar, Salt is salt, God made you dumbo, not my fault!

Whn you r alone, Whn you r crying, whn you r upset, Don't think of me!! just call me Bcoz incoming is free for me... my friend!!

Why did God Create 'you' before Me....? Ans: B'cause he wanted to Create a 'Sample', Be 4 Creating A *Master-Piece*

Days are 2 Busy, Hours are 2Fast, Seconds are 2 Few But there's always Time for Me 2 disturb You

Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? A: Knock on the door

Q: Why do Gods stay up in heaven? A: Because they are afraid of what they have created!

A woman is sitting at a bar. A man approaches her. Hi, honey, he says. Want a little company? Why? asks the woman. Do you have one to sell?

There are 4 animal species a woman needs in her life: Jaguar in her garage, mink in her closet, tiger in her bed! And ofcourse a donkey to pay her bills!!

Do you take me 2 be ur lawfully loveable fren, 2 have and 2 hold, 4 rich qoutes or corny jokes, in text meassging & in poor signal, till low batt do us part?

Husbd: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle. Wife: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr.

Teacher: Why is your nose red? Max: I smelled a b-rose. Teacher: But there is no "b" in rose. Max: There was in this one!

Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I have to leave, I can't find a brain.

Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I have to leave, I can't find a brain.

Confidence and Confidential Son asks diff btw Confidence and Confidential Dad says, u are my son, I am Confident. Ur friend is also my son, thats Confidential

Sign post outside our collage- "Drive Carefully! Dont kill the Students, Wait for the Lecturers!".

A small kid wrote to Santa Clause, "send me a brother". santa wrote back, "send me ur mother".

Scientists all over the world r wondering how long a human being can live without a brain... Kindly tell them ur age...

What happened 2 ur network? I tried 2 call u but the operator said "Welcome 2 the jungle, the monkey u r trying to call is on the tree....Plz try later."

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

God thought that since he couldn't b everywhere he made a mother. Then devil thought that he couldn't b everywhere he made a mother-in-law.

Why couldn't the apple send an e-mail to the orange? Because the lime was engaged.

A good friend is like a computer I 'enter' ur life, 'save' u in my heart, 'format' ur problems, 'shift' u 2 opportunities & never 'delete' u from my memory!

sorry 4 disturb u. can u fax me ur photo, its very urgent, serious matter has comeup actually, we r playing a cards and I lost the joker

Q:) What does a buffalo produce during an EarthQuake? A:) MilkShake

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes, dear I know, but I was in love and didn't notice."

Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? Sam: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

When in life, you wake up n you don't see anyone, then come to me. I will be there to take you to an eye specialist!

When in life, you wake up n you don't see anyone, then come to me. I will be there to take you to an eye specialist!

r mosquitoes religious? Yes They first sing over u & then prey on you

What is a difference between a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey? A kiss is so dear, a car is too dear and a monkey is U dear

Luk at the world as 1 big chocolate cake. It would never b complete without few sweets n nuts. Sweet like ME & nut like U

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter? A: I butter not tell you, It might spread!!

Cute… Good looking… Easy to handle… Cool… Sexy… Nice structure… Its my mobile. How about your?

What is the height of Bravery, Patience & Laziness combined? A: Sitting on the sea shore waiting for TSUNAMI to clean up ur ASS

Will, Marry, I & U are going for a party. Whats the best & worst arrangement u can make. Did u get... Best: Will, U, Marry, Me Worst: I, Will, Marry, U

Dream makes al things possible, Hope makes al things work, luv makes al thigs beutifl, smile makes al d abv so always BRUSH UR TEETH...!

Boy: what will u give me as reward if i climb Mt.Everest? Girl: A push.

Sincere Apology:
If u dont like my SMS or dont like 2 read or if my msgs disturb u,then plz dont hesitate,feel free 2 Throw Ur Mobile!!

Sweet fruits r nice 2 eat.. Sweet words r nice 2 say.. But sweet people r really hard 2 find..My goodness, how da hell did u manage 2 find me!

Advice
Always listen to ur hubby, He gives sound advice :99% Sound & 1% Advice....

Consequences of American life style:
The wife rushed into house screaming 2 her husband, Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids

Their are moments in life when you really miss someone. And you wish you could just pluck them from your dreams..

Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.

Woman: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!